In my last post I talked about the fearsome tornadoes and the horrible, almost biblical fury of Mother Earth. My kids were just fine and so was my house but many people lost their homes and their lives that night. Watching the power around me was awesome. I never want to experience anything like it again. The weather moved in waves that whole day and night. Sometimes we got downpours; other times we got wind and destruction. It was during one of those wind and destruction events that this happened:
The power went totally and completely out.
And this is really what I've been wanting to write about all this time. My whole city was without power for 7 days. That meant no tv, no internet, no hot water, no light. This time was to be one of the most surreal and enlightening times of my life.
The first few hours without power were pretty cool, really. We got out candles and lit them and laughed and rejoiced that the storms were over. We used up the last of the hot water to shower and, with candles lit, go to bed for the night.
The next day was a totally different story. When the power is out there is a strange stillness to the air. When there is electricity every thing sort of buzzes. It's under everything, that buzz. It's a hum that is just there. But with the power out that buzz was gone. It was so strange. The air was different. Combine that with the extreme quiet of a place after a major storm has hit, and it feels like the world has ended.
We waded though those days. During the daytime whole families were outside walking, playing, talking, interacting. We played games and commiserated about the bad weather. We barbecued and drank. It was lovely. Until nightfall.....
When the first rays of the sun would start to disappear you felt that vague tension that comes when you're out of your element. They all knew the darkness was coming and with none of the usual distractions to help us forget about it. Reluctantly people filtered back in to their homes to go to sleep and hopefully make it through the absolute dark. Do you know what I mean by absolute dark? When there is no artificial light everything is blacker, denser, more dangerous than even a faint hint of light can abolish. You look out the window and the trees that you have looked at for years seem more menacing. Shadows are more substancial. It feels like things lurk. For someone like me who is working through a fear of the dark this was especially disturbing. I could handle the daytime and the joy of being released from some of the trappings of modern life but the night, this new night, this dark night, was a whole different beast.
Until this happened:
It was on the 3rd full night of the power outtage. I had to go out to my car and find something. I walked hurriedly down the walkway. My intention was to get to the car and get the hell back in before I could feel the dark. Most every time I go outside I instinctly look up and I did that on this night. When I looked up what I saw took my breath away.
There looked to be millions of stars in the sky. Brilliant, shining, amazing, blazing stars. Just everywhere I looked. Just everywhere. I stopped, transfixed. I no longer was afraid. I felt the majesty of the universe out there and in me. I was proud. I felt so limitless. It was beautiful.
I stood on that sidewalk and saw the Milky Way undulate across the night sky. My mind immediately went to the goddess Nuit. She covers the night sky. Her stars shine forth from her belly, her whole body. She encompasses the heavens and the universe. She is beauty and mystery and protection and cover. She is lovely beyond words. I'm so grateful I got to look upon the night sky without the barrier of man made light. I think every person who lives in the modern world should have to.
Eventually the light did come back on. I saw some crazy weird shit during the blackout days after the storm. People fought over gas. People looted and stole. People cried because they could not watch the royal wedding that weekend. I am afraid for what society will actually devolve into if some true catastrophe occurs. I am not optimistic after seeing some of the things I saw. But I am thankful for that time because of what the night taught me. I was given a true gift during those nights and I will always remember that.
