Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween...... and Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

Yes's my big day!!!! Happy Halloween and Happy Birthday to me. It's the coolest thing, to have a birthday on Halloween. It's just so much fun. I get to watch the whole country celebrate my birthday!

My plan for the day is to take it easy....until the sun sets. Then who the hell knows what's going to happen.

One thing I can definitely say is that I am so grateful to have another birthday. I can't wait to see what the fam has cooked up for me today and I can't wait until tonight when I get to people watch...and do come birthday celebrating too!

I hope you guys have a wonderful day and....Happy Halloween!

Friday, October 22, 2010

The Dream- Day 9

On Tuesday night, or very early on Wednesday morning, I was having a dream. I was on some sort of a campus taking a class. The class was being held outside in a clearing. There were trees in a semi circle around the students. Some of us were sitting on beautiful verdant grass. I was sitting in a desk. Our professor came in, although I never saw him. He explained to the class that we were having some special guests in that day's class. One of the guests was a highly regarded poet. There was activity in the class; everyone was excited and very nervous because we all knew, even though we hadn't been told, that we would have to recite some poetry of our own.

After hearing this I am frantic. In real life, as in the dream, I write poetry. In real life I purchased this elaborately beautiful, deep blue velvet-covered journal to write poetry and stories in. In the dream I go looking for this notebook. Really searching.There is a poem in there and I know it's perfect to recite in this class. I'm not crazy about reciting this poem at all but I just know it's the one to read in case I'm called upon. I'm getting more and more anxious since I can't find it. But then I come into my bedroom, look under my bed and find it. I'm relieved. I go searching through the book, looking for the actual poem. I see snippets of other poems I've written, all done in my hurried handwriting. I flip and flip the pages of my journal and finally I think I have found it. I close the journal, run my hands over the velvet and leave with it. I wake up.

Lately my dreams have been less fantastic, more literal. This dream certainly wasn't overtly fantastic. But under the surface of it there seemed to be something more to it, something I have yet to figure out. I still don't get it. I'm typing it here hoping to not forget it.

The poem seemed to be such an important component part of this dream that I feel compelled to post it here. I wrote this poem, not for someone but about someone. I posted it someplace else as a dare to myself and I will post it here as well. Here goes:

It feels so good, so good
but this should
be you here where
I touch
I need you so much
My fingers move through
springy wetness
I breathe in bliss
and exhale miss
Because I remember
when you used
to do this
I stifle a moan
and use my pillow
to rub
away the worst
of my desire
I am on fire
for you

That's it. The only thing I will say in defense of my poem is that it came from a real place, a deep seated emotion. Otherwise it's just words. I hope you can feel that when you read it.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Music- It moves me-Day 18

It's a nice night here. I love relaxing and listening to music so I thought I would bless you with a few of my fav songs. Hope you enjoy them.

LOVE this song!!! Nothing compares to it!

Anita's voice is sublime!

NO ONE compares to Marvin Gaye.

Reminds me of better days.

"My Sweet Honey had to go away..."

Stevie is the best.

Everytime I hear this song I'm reminded of my childhood.....and all the unknown things in the world.

The Isley Brothers are sublime!

Such a great love song!

Another Marvin Gaye Classic. I love his voice!

A Modern Classic!

For my cousin Tonya!

I had to add Frannkie B and Maze!

I hope you enjoyed these songs! Leave me a comment and let me know what you think of them!

Friday, October 8, 2010

"I didn't walk out; I wore out" - Day 22

I was having a conversation  with someone that I am very close to, a woman whom I love very much, and we were talking about relationship issues. We were having the normal conversation about normal human relationship drama. She was especially talking about a previous relationship that had recently ended. She said something to me during that talk that I was totally struck by. She said it so quietly, yet so resolutely, that I have never forgotten it, and I doubt I ever will. She said:

"I didn't walk out; I wore out"

She was still suffering from the ending of the relationship, that much was clear, but the overall tone of her admission was hope. She explained that she had tried and tried, worked hard at the relationship, and it still wasn't enough to insure that the relationship lasted. She knew in the depths of her heart that she had done all she was capable of doing to make that relationship work. That's why she was able to let the relationship go and move on. Her heart was clear. And she was ready to be happy.

I mention this only because I want to encourage anyone who is in a relationship that they feel they have to stay in to really look at it, examine it, and determine if you have done all you can do to make it work. If so, what justifies your staying in unhappiness? Do you think you owe it to someone else to stay, even at the cost of your own fulfillment? And finally, is it worth it?

My loved one was really excited about her future prospects but I could also hear a tinge of regret in her voice. She knew she was free to move on but I wonder if she wishes that she had not "worn out" before she thought it was ok to leave. My hope is that anyone who is simply going through the motions in a relationship, or staying there because of obligation or fear, please consider taking the steps to find your complete happiness.

Don't stay and wear out..find the courage to, if necessary, walk out.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Who are They?- Day 23

This video asks an inportant question: Just who are they? Got any answers.....?

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Life is Beautiful: Day 29

In keeping with my promise to myself I'm posting again today to say just one thing:

Life is beautiful.

Have a wonderful Saturday! I am.

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Countdown Begins: Day 30

I love the month of October. Usually the hellish heat of the South has faded and I can really get into the swing of Fall which is my favorite season.  There's another reason why I love October.....MY BIRTHDAY IS THIS MONTH, Halloween to be exact!!!! Some people hate their birthdays because it means that they're getting older, usually older than they ever wanted to be. Well I feel the exact opposite. I celebrate every year that I'm alive and I celebrate in grand style. That's why I'm planning to post once a day every day of this month just to keep a running countdown of this momentous occassion!

I don't know what this birthday has in store for me but I'm excited about it and I you guys to share in some of the excitement with me. I'll be posting original work, as well as random musings and whatever else strikes my fancy. Leave comments or email if there's anything you are interested in asking me or want to see me discuss. It's my birthday this month and I'm feeling adventurous!