Friday, October 8, 2010

"I didn't walk out; I wore out" - Day 22

I was having a conversation  with someone that I am very close to, a woman whom I love very much, and we were talking about relationship issues. We were having the normal conversation about normal human relationship drama. She was especially talking about a previous relationship that had recently ended. She said something to me during that talk that I was totally struck by. She said it so quietly, yet so resolutely, that I have never forgotten it, and I doubt I ever will. She said:

"I didn't walk out; I wore out"

She was still suffering from the ending of the relationship, that much was clear, but the overall tone of her admission was hope. She explained that she had tried and tried, worked hard at the relationship, and it still wasn't enough to insure that the relationship lasted. She knew in the depths of her heart that she had done all she was capable of doing to make that relationship work. That's why she was able to let the relationship go and move on. Her heart was clear. And she was ready to be happy.

I mention this only because I want to encourage anyone who is in a relationship that they feel they have to stay in to really look at it, examine it, and determine if you have done all you can do to make it work. If so, what justifies your staying in unhappiness? Do you think you owe it to someone else to stay, even at the cost of your own fulfillment? And finally, is it worth it?

My loved one was really excited about her future prospects but I could also hear a tinge of regret in her voice. She knew she was free to move on but I wonder if she wishes that she had not "worn out" before she thought it was ok to leave. My hope is that anyone who is simply going through the motions in a relationship, or staying there because of obligation or fear, please consider taking the steps to find your complete happiness.

Don't stay and wear out..find the courage to, if necessary, walk out.