Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween...... and Happy Birthday to Me!!!!

Yes's my big day!!!! Happy Halloween and Happy Birthday to me. It's the coolest thing, to have a birthday on Halloween. It's just so much fun. I get to watch the whole country celebrate my birthday!

My plan for the day is to take it easy....until the sun sets. Then who the hell knows what's going to happen.

One thing I can definitely say is that I am so grateful to have another birthday. I can't wait to see what the fam has cooked up for me today and I can't wait until tonight when I get to people watch...and do come birthday celebrating too!

I hope you guys have a wonderful day and....Happy Halloween!

Friday, October 22, 2010

The Dream- Day 9

On Tuesday night, or very early on Wednesday morning, I was having a dream. I was on some sort of a campus taking a class. The class was being held outside in a clearing. There were trees in a semi circle around the students. Some of us were sitting on beautiful verdant grass. I was sitting in a desk. Our professor came in, although I never saw him. He explained to the class that we were having some special guests in that day's class. One of the guests was a highly regarded poet. There was activity in the class; everyone was excited and very nervous because we all knew, even though we hadn't been told, that we would have to recite some poetry of our own.

After hearing this I am frantic. In real life, as in the dream, I write poetry. In real life I purchased this elaborately beautiful, deep blue velvet-covered journal to write poetry and stories in. In the dream I go looking for this notebook. Really searching.There is a poem in there and I know it's perfect to recite in this class. I'm not crazy about reciting this poem at all but I just know it's the one to read in case I'm called upon. I'm getting more and more anxious since I can't find it. But then I come into my bedroom, look under my bed and find it. I'm relieved. I go searching through the book, looking for the actual poem. I see snippets of other poems I've written, all done in my hurried handwriting. I flip and flip the pages of my journal and finally I think I have found it. I close the journal, run my hands over the velvet and leave with it. I wake up.

Lately my dreams have been less fantastic, more literal. This dream certainly wasn't overtly fantastic. But under the surface of it there seemed to be something more to it, something I have yet to figure out. I still don't get it. I'm typing it here hoping to not forget it.

The poem seemed to be such an important component part of this dream that I feel compelled to post it here. I wrote this poem, not for someone but about someone. I posted it someplace else as a dare to myself and I will post it here as well. Here goes:

It feels so good, so good
but this should
be you here where
I touch
I need you so much
My fingers move through
springy wetness
I breathe in bliss
and exhale miss
Because I remember
when you used
to do this
I stifle a moan
and use my pillow
to rub
away the worst
of my desire
I am on fire
for you

That's it. The only thing I will say in defense of my poem is that it came from a real place, a deep seated emotion. Otherwise it's just words. I hope you can feel that when you read it.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Music- It moves me-Day 18

It's a nice night here. I love relaxing and listening to music so I thought I would bless you with a few of my fav songs. Hope you enjoy them.

LOVE this song!!! Nothing compares to it!

Anita's voice is sublime!

NO ONE compares to Marvin Gaye.

Reminds me of better days.

"My Sweet Honey had to go away..."

Stevie is the best.

Everytime I hear this song I'm reminded of my childhood.....and all the unknown things in the world.

The Isley Brothers are sublime!

Such a great love song!

Another Marvin Gaye Classic. I love his voice!

A Modern Classic!

For my cousin Tonya!

I had to add Frannkie B and Maze!

I hope you enjoyed these songs! Leave me a comment and let me know what you think of them!

Friday, October 8, 2010

"I didn't walk out; I wore out" - Day 22

I was having a conversation  with someone that I am very close to, a woman whom I love very much, and we were talking about relationship issues. We were having the normal conversation about normal human relationship drama. She was especially talking about a previous relationship that had recently ended. She said something to me during that talk that I was totally struck by. She said it so quietly, yet so resolutely, that I have never forgotten it, and I doubt I ever will. She said:

"I didn't walk out; I wore out"

She was still suffering from the ending of the relationship, that much was clear, but the overall tone of her admission was hope. She explained that she had tried and tried, worked hard at the relationship, and it still wasn't enough to insure that the relationship lasted. She knew in the depths of her heart that she had done all she was capable of doing to make that relationship work. That's why she was able to let the relationship go and move on. Her heart was clear. And she was ready to be happy.

I mention this only because I want to encourage anyone who is in a relationship that they feel they have to stay in to really look at it, examine it, and determine if you have done all you can do to make it work. If so, what justifies your staying in unhappiness? Do you think you owe it to someone else to stay, even at the cost of your own fulfillment? And finally, is it worth it?

My loved one was really excited about her future prospects but I could also hear a tinge of regret in her voice. She knew she was free to move on but I wonder if she wishes that she had not "worn out" before she thought it was ok to leave. My hope is that anyone who is simply going through the motions in a relationship, or staying there because of obligation or fear, please consider taking the steps to find your complete happiness.

Don't stay and wear out..find the courage to, if necessary, walk out.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Who are They?- Day 23

This video asks an inportant question: Just who are they? Got any answers.....?

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Life is Beautiful: Day 29

In keeping with my promise to myself I'm posting again today to say just one thing:

Life is beautiful.

Have a wonderful Saturday! I am.

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Countdown Begins: Day 30

I love the month of October. Usually the hellish heat of the South has faded and I can really get into the swing of Fall which is my favorite season.  There's another reason why I love October.....MY BIRTHDAY IS THIS MONTH, Halloween to be exact!!!! Some people hate their birthdays because it means that they're getting older, usually older than they ever wanted to be. Well I feel the exact opposite. I celebrate every year that I'm alive and I celebrate in grand style. That's why I'm planning to post once a day every day of this month just to keep a running countdown of this momentous occassion!

I don't know what this birthday has in store for me but I'm excited about it and I you guys to share in some of the excitement with me. I'll be posting original work, as well as random musings and whatever else strikes my fancy. Leave comments or email if there's anything you are interested in asking me or want to see me discuss. It's my birthday this month and I'm feeling adventurous!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

To Know the Secret Things

I got up very early this morning, about 5 am. I didn't want to, resisted it every step of the way. I'm a night person or I always thought so anyway. This morning's sunrise and the thoughts that it made me think just may have changed that.

It was still dark outside when I opened the door leading to my back yard. I was a little hesitant to completely open the door to the dark which is a habit I have had since childhood. For reasons I can't explain I have a fear of the dark. It's not the dark that bothers me as much as what's in the dark that has always made me nervous. But that's another story for another blog post.

So there I was, standing at the back door, trying not to open it too wide, when I heard the first stirrings of the wind through the tree branches. You don't know this about me yet but the wind is probably my favorite natural phenomenon. I love it. So hearing the wind was enough to make me overcome my fears and step into the darkness outside.

The moon is waning now but it was still full enough that it cast an uneartly blueish glow through the tree branches and onto the lawn. For a moment I felt transported. The whole time I was out there in the dark and listening to the wind I thought about something that I always say to my self in my head but that was hard to say out loud:

"I have always wanted to know the secret things"

This is fanciful thinking, I know this intellectually. But on a primal intuitive level I have always felt that it was my purpose to know all about the things that are secret and seemingly unknowable. In my daily life I constantly meet people who seemed compelled to tell me their secrets. I am a virtual stranger to them and yet they tell me all kinds of things, things I would not dare utter to the world if it were my life, my business. I trip when I hear some of these secrets but never, never do I betray these people's secrets with a disapproving facial expression or open displays of shock.  And I have to say here that if there is anyone you want to tell a secret to I'm the right one. I respect privacy and I actually honor the notion that people feel they can tell me the things they tell me. I absolutely don't tell.

I do find this kind of disclosure ironic though since it damn near takes the threat of death to make me spill anything about myself. I can talk to a person for hours and never reveal a single personal thing about myself. I don't really trust people with my private thoughts. This isn't always a good thing because it limits people from really getting to know me. This blog is my exercise in opening up a little bit. But full disclosure here: if it's really personal it won't end up on this blog baby. Trust me. That's just the way I am.

I guess you could call me a keeper of secrets and that's in keeping with how I see myself. But I love knowledge too and especially exclusive knowledge. I guess that's why I'm so interested in the hidden aspects of life and the universe. I just want to know. There is a fine line between knowing enough and knowing too much. I want to know as much as I can handle.

Standing in that corner of my backyard, with the wind streaming through the trees and the moon casting its glow was the perfect backdrop to such thoughts. The sun had not risen yet; there wasn't even a hint of it in the eastern sky. But this early morning scene fired my imagination and rekindled that yearning to know, really know, inside me once again.

Maybe I'll start waking up early in the mornings now to see if I can capture it again.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Very Bad Things aka the Drama Queen Returns

I've been gone for a while. I'm sure that almost on one noticed it. I've been seriously challenged in the past three months. I've done, potentially, a very bad thing. Nothing felonious or criminal at all mind you. Just something that turned into a much deeper challenge than I expected it to be. I'm currently recovering from that, taking the time to try and find some distraction that will help me get a little distance from my own self-recriminations. So it's back to my blog. I give a Solemn Oath that I will be posting more often from now on. I hope that if you have been out there looking around in my world that you come back.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Here's a video I found on Red Ice Creations. It's about human resonance and is really interesting!

I've been thinking alot about resonance lately. For whatever reason the word just keeps popping up in my conversations with people. I've been paying closer attention to the many coincidences in my life. These coincidences usually involve subjects or events that resonate with me on a personal level.

Resonance has many definitions but for the purposes of this blog I will define resonance as something that speaks to you in a deep meaningful way. You may not understand why you like a certain thing; you just do. Things resonate with us on a subatomic, subconscious level. To me resonance is that mysterious force that connects us with the unseen world around us, the world we feel but cannot see.

Pay attention to the things that resonate with you! The more you pay attention the more benefits you will receive from this mysterious force.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Demeter+Persephone: A Merging of the Goddesses

I'm transitioning right now. I can't explain it any other way. Whole sections of my life are altering themselves and there is something poetic and inevitable about it. It's almost completely out of my control and for the most part I just kind of sit back, detached, an unconcerned spectator to the spectacle. Ever so often some thing happens that jars me and forces me to pay closer attention. So now I am.

Years ago I developed a strong interest in goddesses. There is something about the goddess that strongly resonates with me. Years ago I was reading some book about goddesses and in it I found some throw-away footnote on Persephone and Demeter. I was intrigued by their story. I immediately did more research and found that Persephone's story really spoke to me in a way that I can't express adequately with words. Persephone, the innocent, Persephone the beautiful, abducted and held against her will in the dark Underworld. And Demeter, the giver of the grain, grieving for her daughter so deeply that she would deny life. I didn't know why this story had such a profound effect on me. Now, years later, I do.

A Summary

Persephone is the goddess of the underworld in Greek mythology. She is the daughter of Zeus and Demeter, goddess of the harvest. Persephone was such a beautiful young woman that everyone loved her, even Hades wanted her for himself. One day, when she was collecting flowers on the plain of Enna, the earth suddenly opened and Hades rose up from the gap and abducted her. None but Zeus, and the all-seeing sun, Helios, had noticed it.

Broken-hearted, Demeter wandered the earth, looking for her daughter until Helios revealed what had happened. Demeter was so angry that she withdrew herself in loneliness, and the earth ceased to be fertile. Knowing this could not continue much longer, Zeus sent Hermes down to Hades to make him release Persephone. Hades grudgingly agreed, but before she went back he gave Persephone a pomegranate (or the seeds of a pomegranate, according to some sources). When she later ate of it, it bound her to underworld forever and she had to stay there one-third of the year. The other months she stayed with her mother. When Persephone was in Hades, Demeter refused to let anything grow and winter began. This myth is a symbol of the budding and dying of nature. In the Eleusinian mysteries, this happening was celebrated in honor of Demeter and Persephone, who was known in this cult as Kore.

"Persephone." Encyclopedia Mythica from Encyclopedia Mythica Online.

You Are the Greek Goddess Demeter
You are an Earth Mother, provider of delicious food and beautiful children. You prefer the company of the young, but you have a decided wanderlust, which makes being tied down lead to periods of depression. You are conscientious, law-abiding, and spiritual.

This above description is cheesy as hell but I added it for a reason. I was talking to someone recently and I attempted to describe myself in a way that illustrated the difference in the way that the world sees me and how I see myself. I said "People see me as an Earth Mother type....I love to cook and bake.....I love kids and want to teach them..." so when I saw this I was struck by the similarities between the perception of me and the description of Demeter. Demeter is nurturing. She brings life to the world. She is maternal. She is fiercely loyal. She feeds you and fucks you and does whatever it takes to make you happy. If you had asked me just six months ago to describe myself I would have used many of these same words. Without my knowing it Demeter and I were connected. I was living her energy. I was expressing the Demeter archetype without even realizing that I was. I poured every bit of my available energy into other people, other things, wearing the perfect mask. Somehow my psyche got tired of it. Expressing Demeter has caused me forgo myself and my own needs, my sense of self, my sexuality, my swag. I love the Demeter parts of me but my life had been so consumed with her that I wasn't even important enough to warrant an afterthought.
In my opinion, anytime a schism occurs between dual parts of ourselves the neglected part is going to make itself known, in small ways at first, and the longer you ignore it the worse the acting out will be. I'm quiet and introspective. I pay attention to myself. But it still took time to notice the other part of me, calling out. I needed to pay attention to Persephone as well.


Persephone may be young and innocent and beautiful but really, when you boil her story down to its essence, Persephone embodies desire. She is so desirable that Hades, god of the Underworld, cannot live without her. He wants her so much that he will risk the wrath of the gods and the death of the world, to control her. Hades, who has certainly been around the block a time or two, is said to be drawn to her innocence and beauty. What must it say about Persephone that Hades, who has certainly seen it all and done the rest, would go to such lengths to have her?

I wanted to express my own inner Persephone. I wanted to be sexy and beautiful. I wanted to be spoiled and cherished. I wanted to be a part of that insane lust, that mad desire, that intense pursuit, that domination. I wanted to find all of that craziness for myself, in myself. It was time to let Hades come take me.

Isolation and Possession
In order to really experience and manifest Persephone energy you have to throw yourself into it. Nothing can get in the way. You have to become isolated and fully possessed. In some way you have to become almost childlike in your devotion to yourself. Self becomes everything. I made sure to pay as much, or more, attention to not just the things that I needed but to the things I wanted. I didn't give a shit if you liked it. I explored everything with to excess and with complete abandon: food, wine, books, orgasms.

When I think about that time now I realize that it could not and should not last. No That kind of selfishness was as destructive to me as my previous self-neglect. My dual parts, Persephone and Demeter, needed to merge. It took time and a real conscientious effort but now I can express both goddesses equally. They have merged in a way that makes my life fuller. I can focus on me, as well as all the other responsibilities that comprise my life. I'm happier for it and more fulfilled.

This is my Persephone/Demeter story and I this is how it played out for me. Others may have another archetype from which they need to work. Just make sure that whatever is going on with yourself that you pay attention. There is nothing really hidden from us if we take enough time to look.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Office

I'm scared to post this. It's unedited but I enjoy this story so I hope you will too. It's for adults so if you're not one don't read it. I told someone I was in a mood and this is the result. Hope you like it.

The Office

I’m sitting in a black swivel chair staring at a blank computer screen. My fingers run idly over the keyboard, absently tick-tick-ticking away. There is a lull in the activity at our little office. The action has slowed, stilled and finally stopped. It’s late in the day and the two of us are alone now. It’s not quite closing time but its close enough that I can start looking forward to being home with a glass of wine, which I desperately need. I feel wound up inside, tight, feeling a vague sense of danger, the kind that comes out of nowhere, the kind that you may or may not expect. I feel as if I have been standing at attention all day waiting on my commanding officer to yell “At Ease!”

This room is so cold. I blow on my hands, hoping to warm them up. My nipples respond to the frigid air, firming up into tight buds that are vaguely uncomfortable. I focus on the tendrils of pleasure /pain that come from my nipples. It’s only mildly distracting. Nothing is strong enough to make me forget that he is there, just a few steps away.

Damn it’s really cold in here! My fingers, my feet, my bare arms, are cool. My bare legs, protected from the coolness by my desk, are comfortable. I place my hands close to my inner thigh hoping to warm them. I rub my fingers over the lushness of my thighs. My thighs are so, so soft. The sensation of opposites, the cold fingers over the warm thighs, is arousing. My hands sink further into the softness of my thighs. They are supple, so pliable like bread dough. I move my hands closer to the heat between my legs, up up up by slow degrees. I’m not so cold anymore but I still feel the tension, tight and high strung. I know that I want to have an orgasm. I need to have an orgasm.

I could move my hands up further up my skirt. Touch myself just enough and make myself cum. He would never know. My body is hidden behind my desk. He can’t see me. I just want to feel normal again, to remove this tension. If I touch myself just there, just right, I could make myself orgasm. A few more inches upward and I am closer. It’s warmer up here. Wetter too. I take three deep breaths. I rub myself through my panties. Sparks burst forth. Already I feel myself slipping, floating. My heartbeat accelerates. Am I brave enough to do this? He may not be able to see me. But what if he can smell me? The smell of sex is distinctive, and it lingers. He will smell my cum. I make a decision to just lightly touch my clit, just tease myself enough that when I get home, fuck it, when I get in my car, any place private, I can get off.

My fist is completely up my skirt, brushing the moist center of my panties, when my boss walks out. I freeze and plaster a bright, professional smile on my face. I am afraid that he knows, that he has watched me from his office door and he knows what I’m here trying to do. “I’m on my way to the bank. I’ll be back in a while”. He breezes out the door. He is, as usual, oblivious to me, to anything concerning me. I am nothing but the help as far as he is concerned. I want him to notice me, I want to fuck him. This thought almost dims my arousal, almost.

It’s after 3 pm. No one comes in this late. And it’s raining. I unbutton the first three buttons of my shirts, exposing my lacy black bra and the tops of my breasts. I have warmed up considerably. I decide to continue. Things are private now. He has gone and taken the rest of my inhibitions with him. If I were honest with myself I would admit that he is the source of this frustration. He is my tension and my arousal. Maybe when I finally slide my fingers inside myself I’ll close my eyes and imagine his face. But for now he is gone and he has taken my inhibitions with him.
I pull my bra down, exposing one chocolate nipple to the kiss of the cool air. There, I think, that feels good. All of a sudden I am impatient, combustible, explosive. I move my hand back up my skirt. He could be back soon. I touch the front of my wet panties. I hook two fingers around the back of my panties and pull them to the side, exposing my clit and my cum to the air. My fingers slide between my lips. They glide through the wetness, slippery and slick. I use my thumb to rub my clit round and round. I slide three fingers inside me. Oh God! This is just what I needed. It feels so good. I close my eyes, the better to savor the sensation. I know just how much pressure I need, how deep I need to go, how fast I need to rub. I move my hips to the rhythm I set.

My chest tightens up. My heart beats faster. My breathing changes, catches in my throat. I feel my pussy pull, as elemental as gravity. The wetness slurps loudly. My pussy is talking to me and I can hear it. My mouth opens, preparing the sounds. My God, I feel it! I feel you. My walls suck my streaming fingers in, wrap around them, imprisoning me inside. The waves break and it is beyond bliss. When I come it is powerful. My orgasm has rendered me speechless. I am unable to make any sound.
It takes me a few moments to drift back. I am boneless, nearly liquid, completely satiated. My tension, my frustration has been obliterated by an ancient power, a stronger energy. Slowly I remember my surroundings. I fix my bra and button my shirt. I adjust my skirt. My face is composed, serene, politely distant. My orgasm has restored me.

When he walks through the door minutes later I flash my bright, professional receptionist’s smile. Everything looks exactly the same as when he left. “I got back quicker than I expected” he says, as he breezes back through the door. Halfway into his office he stops and turns back toward me. He cocks his head to the side. I see him subtly sniff the air. I watch his face change, reassessing the situation, feeling the energy. He walks back into his office. A few seconds later he peeks his head around the corner. “You look different today”, he says. I smile as he disappears around the back into his office. For once he is not oblivious.

The end

Saturday, June 12, 2010


The Peach as a Sexual Experience
I love, love is too mild a word... I ADORE peaches. Every summer, when the time is right, I stalk the stalls at the farmer's market waiting on the ripest peaches to be rolled out. Around the month of May the anticipation has become almost palpable and I can't wait until June to get my hands on my favorite juicy fruits.

In sexual terms foreplay can refer to any action that gets the sexual fires started. Touch is definitely one of those. Touching a peach is everything when it comes to picking the right one. I pick up the peach and rub it, gently, to see how plush it is. I take the peach firmly in the palm of my hand and run my fingers around the globe, pressing very, very gently, to see if the peach has any "give" to it. The juiciest peaches are slightly soft, exceptionally ripe. If it feels right in your hands then you just know when you bite into it that you will feel the juice burst out onto your tongue. Another key trait to look for is the color. Darker peaches are usually more ripe and therefore are sweeter and juicier than ones with more of a blush on it. After I've picked my peach, and when all the rubbing, smelling and groping are done, I head home, near to bursting with all that juicy goodness waiting to be savored.

IntercourseHere's a definition for you:
Intercourse \In"ter*course\, n.1. A commingling; intimate connection or dealings between persons or nations, interchange of thought and feeling; association; communion. [1913 Webster]

So I've picked my peach. I'm home alone and waiting on just the right moment to bite into my peach. My anticipation could not be stronger. I'm thinking of all the possibilities. See, every peach is different. Some can be really really juicy but not all that sweet. Others can be really really sweet but not all that juicy. You're always hoping that you find that one peach, that one in a million peach, that is both. Once, when I was still a young teenager my mom, my sister and I were on a trip back home after visiting relatives. There was a roadside fruit stand and my mom, on impulse, pulled over and bought some peaches. They were so lovely! As soon as my mom paid the man for the peaches I grabbed the biggest one and in a fit of impatience that only the young can fully appreciate I bit into the peach. God it was heavenly! I used my mouth and my tongue to bite down into the flesh and then suck, suck all the nectar into my mouth. It was divine! There was just the right amount of sweetness on my tongue. The peach was so full that the juices ran down my arm. I'm telling you, that peach was beyond delicious....and I'm hoping the one I'm about to eat is nearly as good.

I grab my chosen peach, forcefully, gently, longingly, and I put it up to my lips. I take a moment to smell the sweet, tart, tangy smell of the peach. My heart beats a little faster, my senses sharpen, my mouth waters. I relish the feel of its fuzz against my lips....Then, because I cannot bear to wait another minute, I bite into the flesh. Juices flood over, into my mouth, down my arm and past that part of my brain that distinguishes the act of intercourse with someone from the act of intercourse with something, namely this peach. I am reminded of how hard it has been these past few months to be without my beloved summer peaches. I am reminded of why I love being a southern girl who is in love with southern peaches. I am reminded that I am in love again...with a peach....

To everything there is a season and your season, dear peach, has come back around. Thank goodness for that! Gracious, baby, how I've missed you!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Two Moons

Strange dreams....I have them ALL THE TIME!!! As a matter if fact if I go one week without having some kind of dream then I consider something to be very wrong. My dreams are so vivid seem so REAL to me when I'm having them that I often look forwared to going to sleep at night just to see where I can. And believe me I can end up anywhere in my dreams. Most nights I stay on Earth but even then dream Earth doesn't always follow the laws of physics as we know them. Here is a recap of last night's dream, as much of it as I remember anyway.

"I was at my home but it wasn't just my home anymore. It was almost like a boarding house or a hotel and all kinds of strangers were staying there. People were milling around; there was the usual noisy clutter that happens when lots of people are socializing. I went outside and looked up at the night sky. I noticed that there were 2 moons in the night sky, 2 moons and a sun. The sun was not bright and the only way I knew that it was a sun was intuitively. There were stars that were visible in the sky but I noticed that the stars were in the wrong place and that they were really bright. As soon as I saw this I knew something was out of order. It didn't feel necessarily wrong but it did feel like there was some kind of wrongness about the celestial bodies position in the night sky. I also immediately noticed that I obviously wasn't the only one who noticed this. Some of the people in the group noticed it as well and they were talking excitedly about it. There was a definite mood of excitement in the air. I decided to go back inside and work this event out in my own mind, alone. I began walking backward through the door, so as to never take my eyes off of the sky. As I was walking backward I bumped into a man. I must have said something to him about the sky because he commented back and said something that was unintelligible to me. The impression that I got was that he was saying something that was degrading to me, something about how I did not know anything about the night sky because if I did I would know that this was normal and that it happened. Since I wasn’t quite sure what he was saying I chose to let it pass and to go back inside. At this point the energy was building amongst the group. The fear was becoming more palpable. I was starting to get as afraid as everyone else. Soon the same guy that seemed to be rude to me ended up being the one who comforted me and let me know it was ok. I woke up feeling strangely comforted yet still a little afraid."

I should mention that I love astronomy and have a better -than -average knowledge about constellations and the night sky. I believe that this knowledge must have informed my subconscious concerning the way the stars were supposed to be positioned but I just dont know for sure. Either way I was well aware that something was amiss in that sky in my dreams.

Also I wanted to mention that I recently cut my hair in an effort to give it a chance to grow in its natural state. I did this 2 months ago and I have noticed that the dreams I have now are different than the ones I have before I did the big chop. I have been told that hair can act as an antennae for cosmic information but I did not know this before I cut my hair. I was just looking for something to understand what may have prompted they even more vivid state of my dreams. I have no idea about the validity of this idea but I can honestly say that my dreams have taken on a greater dimension and depth since I cut my hair.

So alright guys. If anyone comes along and is good at interpreting dreams please have at it. Feel free to drop any kind of comments about anything you wish. I like the idea of sharing insights with others.


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

One Word

I know, I know. The title seems like one of those stupid ass surveys you get on myspace or facebook asking you to describe something using one word. This is not that, I promise. This post is about something different and profound, at least to me. I love looking up at the stars at night. I love to find Orion and travel down its belt to find the star Sirius and then meander up up up to the Seven Sisters and just Be. I love looking at the night sky because when I think about the vastness of the universe, how absolutely BIG it is I am reminded of just what I, my tiny little human self, is a part of. I then feel as if I can do anything, like i am meant to be anything and I feel renewed. I feel supernatural.


The Universe comprises everything we perceive to physically exist, the entirety of space and time, all forms of matter and energy, and the physical laws and constants that govern them. However, the term Universe may be used in slightly different contextual senses, denoting such concepts as the cosmos, the world, or Nature.

The word universe means One Word. That's the literal meaning of it. I think about the one word that God uttered to create the universe. What was it? As a lover of words I am more than aware of their power and their effects on us. I have, for years and years, sometimes blithely uttered, written or read without giving due respect to them. That's about to change though. My last post concerned books and how fed up I was with them. I am bored with the same stories, told the same way, by interchangeable people. But I have to back track on that now. I have to remember to restore the power back to the word and to use it in much the same way that God did.

Tonigh't I'm sure I'm going to do the same thing I do every night when there are no clouds: I will go outside and look up up up and out into the vast unknown. I will make sure to remember what I have written today and I will pray that the words will come. The words, oh yes, the words. And their power.

Monday, February 1, 2010


Literati: n. the literary intelligentsia, well-educated people who are interested in literature.

This weekend has been unusual for Alabama. We were iced in. Now mind you it only takes a little bit of ice to shut my little city down but it was fun nonetheless to be shut in.....but only for a minute. By day 2 I was pretty much not fucking happy about being stuck inside. I was invited to a book clun meeting this weekend and for lack of anything better to do i decided that maybe i should go. After a few minutes of deep contemplation however, I decided that I just didnt want to go. For whatever reason, I just didn't feel like being a member of the Literati this weekend. As a matter I don't know if i can stand one more room full of insufferably hip people who think they know anything about everything. I didn't think I could handle one more person, puffed up on their own sense of importance, spout another word about good and bad literature. There really is no right choice in book....You like what you like...end of story.
I can't quite say what prompted by foul mood. Since i have, for most of my life, been a book lover, I didn't know what caused this sudden and virulent change of opinion about some of my fellow readers. My guess is that I have been so thoroughly disappointed by the things I'm reading lately that I have been unable to forgive the authors of the books I'm reading. I've been wanting to throw the whole of my library into the fiery pit and start over!

Yes this is irrational, as most writers seem to really care about writing the best story that they can (Don't they?) but still....I'm done with the bullshit I've been reading lately. Please please help me and tell me of some really good books they have a passable plot and some steamy dialogue!!! Alabama is still in the midst of this funky cold snap and my sanity just may depend on it! See ya next time.